New and Improved!

The long-awaited resurrection of a legend happened on Monday, October 19, when the NEW and IMPROVED California 2 opened its doors.

In this case N&I is no load of crap. Jim has really put alot of effort into designing this place as he wanted it - with a lot of supervision by new manager Larry!

Many of the usual and unusual suspects attended the grand opening and the place is so much bigger than before that it was still only 75% of capacity at the busiest time. It's wider and much longer and very well decorated - one could be excused for thinking that the regulars would be priced out. But Jim assures me that he still appreciates the locals and will ensure that they are well-taken care of.

He certainly demonstrated that with the party tradition of free-flowing margaritas. If you don't stop by for anything else, drop in to have a look at the staff - there's some lookers there and I'm quite sure that it wasn't just the alcohol talking (and I told myself I wasn't going to share that data with anyone else). Not only that but its got a/c, a pool table, and is open 24 hours, so drop in any time.

At the time, the rooms and kitchen were not open, but by now, they should be. The same detail has been paid to the rooms.

The new location is still on the riverfront but now just a little north of Street 102. It should be an even better Fort Apache (safe haven) from the insanity of Om Tuk since it is no longer directly in the heart of things and access should be much better. Not sure if they'll be utilizing it but there is a great race-viewing area up on the 3rd floor.

Details and photos: http://www.cafecaliforniaphnompenh.com/

OM TUK

Speaking of Bon Om Tuk, if you're crazy enough to stick around for it or catch a glimpse of it on the tube, be on the look out for our own Ubercon "Angkoring" down a barang boat (he should banned from the blog just for that act alone!). Don't know what the infamous UC looks like? Just look for a boat postured much the same as this one.

Stay-On to Stay Up?

Recently depleted the supply of Royal-D so took a trip to the pharmacy across the street to replenish. Having recently run out of my One-A-Day For Men multi-vitamins, I decided to see if they had a cheaper alternative.

Ordered the Royal-D and showed the vitamin bottle to the pharmacist. He brought out a bottle of something called Vitrum from Aus. Looked good enough.

When I asked if these were vitamins for man, a school-boy giggle came across him and he reached under the counter to the sildenafil citrate section, pulled out a box with the name Stay-On, and put it on the counter.

"This is for man?" I asked. "You can read the box," was his reply.

The box really only spoke about enhancing performance and exercise, but by his embarrassment, I could figure things out.

"Oh no," I replied, "I mean for old man like me." Needless to say, this only confirmed his suspicion of my needs.

I had another look at the bottle of Vitrum and told him that this and the Royal-D would be all that I would need. "$13.50," he told me.

I was now curious as hell and took another look at the Stay-On. Scanned hard for further description but found nothing more. "How much is this?" I asked. "Oh sorry, I forget the price."

Now I've been coming to this guy for my health needs for quite some time and he is really quite knowledgeable. There is no way in hell that he didn't know the price.

I once again inquired as to what it was and he once again told me to read the box. He did go on to say that it was BETTER than Kamagra, and that you took it each day just like a vitamin.

The charade had me flustered and I left it there to be researched later on the internet. But I can't find a thing. Anybody know anything about this stuff? Will it do just as my trusty little Chemist says!

THANKSGIVING in Cambodia...

...goes something like this:

Haven't seen enough? - Click here!

Making The BIG Time

Another Crowded Holiday List Alarms Businesses

THE CAMBODIA DAILY

November 18, 2008

The government released a list of 25 public holidays for the 2009 calendar year, renewing the debate over tradition versus labor productivity.

The 25 holidays spread from International New Year's Day on Jan 1 to International Human Rights Day on Dec 10, and the month of May alone counts six days off, according to a government sub-decree signed by Prime Minister Hun Sen on Oct 20.

"For my factory, which has 2,000 workers, I lose about $6,000 to $7,000 per day during public holidays," said Kong Sang, deputy chairman of the Garment Manufacturers Association in Cambodia and owner of Evergreen Apparel Co Ltd.

Holidays lower production and complicate business because banks close, Kong Sang said. Cambodia has many more holidays than other countries, and they are clustered in the spring and fall, when garment factories receive most of their international orders, he added.

GMAC raised the issue with the government but did not receive a satisfactory answer, he said.

International investors are shocked by the number of public holidays when they arrive here, but they make do with Cambodia's calendar, said [Mr. Big], ...manager at [the preeminent staffing company in Cambodia], who handles human resources for companies trying to establish themselves in Cambodia.

"I've never seen anyone go running for the border once they realize they have to give their workers some time off," [Mr. Big] said, adding that Cambodians still have less time off than some European workers.

A very [Mr. Big]-like statement for those that know him.

You Know You're Not In Cambodia Anymore WHEN...

...you see this sign:


AND, when your date lets you know how disappointed she is that you discarded the milk that she wanted to drink!

Happy to report that Pattaya is still a great place to be! Except the prices - as everyone else has reported - have gone up. I'm not quite the "handsome man" that I used to be. Dredge seemed to relish this fact. May the rain Gods descend upon him during his ride up-country.

How about this guy? How much could you sue for?

Suckered By Stripper, Man Sues

Arizonan says he was taken for $175k ride by topless dancer

OCTOBER 26--In a remarkably embarrassing new lawsuit, an Arizona man claims that he was bilked out of $175,000 by a Phoenix stripper who played him for a sucker for three years. According to a Superior Court complaint, a copy of which you'll find below, gullible Zachary Hull, 39, met Kimberly Jennings in November 2001 while she was working as a topless dancer. Jennings claimed that she stripped to pay for her college tuition and "painted a tale of woe and honest needs" so that Hull would "feel sorry for her," alleges the complaint. Hull told Jennings that she should stop dancing and "that they should get to know each other and become friends. In exchange he would assist her with money for her financial needs." From that point, Hull contends, Jennings fed him lie after lie so that she could "manipulate [him] into providing her with funds." The list of stories (or "false representations" as they are called in the lawsuit) swallowed by Hull is lengthy, covering everything from supposed chest infections and dental surgery to breast cancer treatment and moving expenses. Hull claimed when he confronted Jennings about her finances, she would become defensive and warn that if he did not cover her expenses she would return to stripping. Jennings "actively concealed" her real name, and the fact that she was married and had children, claimed Hull, who also named Jennings's husband as a defendant in his fraud complaint. Hull is seeking the return of his $175k, along with interest and legal fees.

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/1026053hull1.html

1 + 2 + 4 = ?

Zer0!

As in 1 ticket gets you 2 drinks for the price of 4 dollars and results in 0 people from the dark continent showing up at the Big M. Seems Team JC got their act together and the brothers have to buy a ticket at the door before entering. This past weekend, none of them was willing to pay the steep price and the decor was much brighter. Are these the customers that any business wants?

The Trapdoor Spider seems to have caught himself one in the front door...and a cutie at that! Will he be able to refrain from his trapdoor-spider-ways? Plenty of us multi-legged creatures awaiting any fallout. Seriously, good catch and good luck spidey!

Undiscovered History - What's up with CCTV taking away my Discovery Channel and replacing it with the History Channel? No problems with the History Channel, as I have already watched a few good documentaries (including one about Pol Pot, which seemed to have been produced shortly after his death 10 years ago), but certainly not at the expense of the Discovery Channel! That means no more Mythbusters, Dirty Jobs, Future Weapons, or American Chopper (OK, I can emphatically state that I will not miss those meatheads!). Also missing is Animal Planet being replaced with something called Explore - yeah, I'll take that poofter Jeff Corwin over the AC knuckleheads anyday. Come on fellows, screw with the Frog Channel or the Russian channel, but not my Discovery!

The Gameroom/Crackhouse across the street from Walkabout has been shut down and not a minute too soon. Saw the games being hauled out a few days ago and the place has been closed since. Good F*cking riddence you losers.

One final thing that Dredge forgot to add about Prohibition Night. Before we ran off to import our own Mekong, but after we were able to find a few cans of brew on Street 63, we needed a place to enjoy them. We discovered that there could be no better place than the concrete bench half way down the street from WA. While imbibing, we were treated to a "monkey-open-coconut" (ala Ko Samui) show performed by an 8-year-old glue-sniffing simian, while a monstrously-goitered crack whore tried to entice us with her "goods' - ahhh...just like the old days!

Priceless?

Gas for the bike: 4900R/liter

Asahi/Anchor: $15-$16/case

Rice: $40/50kg (up from $25 last month)

Cooking gas: $27-$35/15kg (up from $18 last month)

Living in Cambodia: PRICEY!!!

For everything else, there's:

What the hell is going on?!?!

Sure, property prices are way up but the local rice farmer is not buying property.

A local restaurateur says that the beer distributors have not increased their prices but try getting an $11 case of Anchor in Phnom Penh – they still were available in Sihanoukville as of a couple of weeks ago.

Today’s Daily, said that “gas importers…expressed surprise that retail prices had reached such heights given the prices they were charging distributors.”

By the way, in the same article a spokesman for Total said that they just recently raised their price from $18 to $21. So if you need cooking gas, it appears that Total is the place to go (or at least it was before the article was published).

Also in today’s Daily, HS claimed that Cambodia has a rice surplus and blamed anti-government elements for economic sabotage (not blaming the barang this time?). He also denied that he was planning to set rice prices at 5000R/kg (I had previously heard 4000R and that he was aiming for $2 a liter gas).

So who’s making all of the money here? And how the hell is Joe Khmer going to survive? Oh yeah, simply steal a few more motorbikes (Did you see last week that Infinity Insurance had to issue a public apology for running an advert saying that 40 bikes are stolen each day in PP? The PP Police Chief came out and said that only 3 motos were stolen in February, and that’s down from the 10 stolen in January! Amazing what comes out of the mouths of babes!).

Soon enough I might have to shut my piehole to those of you that I have been accusing of paying too much for your furpie…yesterday’s price might be tomorrow's bargain!

Just More Rambling

GOING, GOING…

Soon to be gone!

Been to Sihanoukville lately? If you liked it as it was, you’d better get down there quickly!
Sokha beach was privatized years ago, and part of Victory beach was taken away not too long ago. And Hawaii beach was also slotted for development long ago and that is now proceeding.


Now Independence beach is completely fenced off ala the riverfront in Phnom Penh, and so is the end of Ochheuteal beach where the fishing village used to be. That was bulldozed a couple of weeks ago by a Cambodian-American lawyer who is also an assistant to a Senate and local political party President. According to the Daily, the lawyer said, “’Municipal governor of Sihanoukville Say Hak said I had no permission, it’s true,’” and he went on to explain that “he needed to bulldoze the houses first so as to know the size of ‘the exact area before obtaining permission’” to bulldoze!

Ahhh, perfect logic in this country!

And the shop owners on Otres got a reprieve after being given a week to vacate their premises. The initial eviction order was overturned after a protest in Phnom Penh, but they are to be “inspected” again in April. Any bets as to pass/fail on this one?

So that leaves part of Ochheuteal – the old golf course is now taken over by Sokha where they

plan to put up another resort with private beach – and Serendipity. How long do you think these will last as they are? In August of 2007, the PP Post reported the following:

Cambodia’s most popular seaside area with foreign and domestic tourists, Ochheuteal Beach, will be completely overhauled and redesigned beginning in 2008, top municipal and tourism officials said on August 3.

Judging by renderings obtained by the Post, the new Ochheuteal area is one of sidewalks, car parks and concrete palm-lined promenades – a far cry from the laid-back, populist playground that exists today.

And finally, the airport expansion and upgrade has been given the go-ahead and it is slated to be the largest airport in Cambodia. And all along, we were worried about the Pattaya Trash!

GONE

You PPTV subscribers no longer need be so jealous of us CCTV subscribers. Sometime over the last couple of days we lost our HBO and Cinemax, which have replaced with the Hallmark Channel and TrueSport 3. Just what we needed - another 24-hour soccer channel.

FALSE ALARM. Our beloved "premium" channels have reappeared and we are no longer subjected to Hallmark and TS3. What was that all about?



STACKED

Pronunciation: \stakt\
Function: adjective
of a woman : having large breasts

Sorry kids…not referring to THAT definition. Let’s try again:

Function: verb
transitive verb
1 b: to pile in or on

Now that we know what it means, let’s see what it looks like:




We’ll at least according to Flavour’s in Phnom Penh. A couple of torn up slices of ham with one on the top does not quite “stack” up to Khmerican’s definition of stacked, but for $4.25, what does one expect? (A hell of a lot more!!!).


WHO’S AFRAID OF THE EXPAT?

Seems that your average stiu no longer is.

Been a tough couple of weeks for some of Cambodia’s expat population.

Two weeks ago, at about midnight on a Tuesday night, the PG PowerRanger was heading along Monivong from the big M to WA, with his little tart in tow. He heard a distinct smack from the back of the bike and turned to see several motos with two-astride Khmer boys there. It seems that they had swatted his girl’s arse. When he looked forward, there were another couple of bikes along side of him forcing him off of the road. Afetr a bit of a chase, he finally make his way to the front of WA and the pricks pull right up with him. One yama-head goes off insisting that the PGPR had hit his bike, although there was no sign of any damage. He makes a couple of weak attempts at getting violent, even after the PGPR is joined by a few of PP’s bigger expats. After a lot of lifting of phones to the ear with the “I’m going to call my guy” threat, the expats walk inside and the stius take off. But a little concerned that these pricks would be so brazen.

Then a few nights later, the PG Gynecologist had his locked 250cc, which was parked directly in front of his humble abode door, stolen from behind a locked gate. Granted there was a small walk-though portion of the gate that was not locked – but was very difficult to fit this size of a bike through – and it was between midnight and 2:00a.m. on a Friday night, but it still happened in a usually secure area with a bike that is almost never parked outside.

Straps were tied through the padlock holes of his door and the neighbor’s door in case they were awakened and attempted to get out and apprehend the f@ckers.

Inquiries to the dozen+ moto-dops parked outside got no responses, even with a $150 payout to anyone who could tell of the whereabouts of the bike. And a trip to the police station around the corner got one copper up, but the other said to come back the next day. Thanks guys.

By the way, Khmers have said that the way to deal with a situation like this in the future is to go to the local police and tell them that you will pay half of the bike’s value for its return…but this must be done soon after the loss as the bike is shipped out of town shortly after the theft.

Last week saw two other barangs roughed up in attempts to steal their rented motos in Snookey. Neither targets are small men, but CD is actually a large individual that you might think local punks would avoid. Apparently they were armed with sticks and other weapons and got a few licks in before getting away with the moto.

The other brave new target was able to fend off his attackers, and it is said that the police had to get him off of one of the guys that he was beating on. No bike loss for this chap.

Finally, not Khmer related, our own local Dick Weber responded to a knock on his door on Thursday night by receiving a knock on his noggin. Seems another expat was looking for someone else and head-butted then attacked Weber. Word is that the attacker was packing a couple of blades, although they were never used. Police eventually showed up and perp was hauled off to the Monkey House, were he is rumored to remain at this time. Further rumor says that perp and victim were later locked in a room together – you know, let’s just see what happens if – and perp profusely apologized to Weber. Last rumor is the perp was well perked up on something.

The more things change in Cambodia, the more they remain the same.

Oh shit, almost forgot the best of the rest. Don’t recall which day it was but the Fat Cat got himself 86-d and banned from Walkabout. Not an easy task, but he was up to it. Apparently thrown out a few times, he still wanted to have a go of it with the security guard before Drama Queen stepped in and saved his hide. (Why didn’t you leave him alone boy?)

The Connoisseur then proceeded to drive down to CA2 where, after weebling and wobbling and moaning and groaning for a bit, he sat down and polished off a “mates” curry. Then spent the next few moments spitting part of it back up before sprawling himself out across the sofa. CA2J had to come out and nearly dump him on to the ground before he perched himself upright again. By this time, a tough-gutted Aussie and Brit had already departed due to this nasty sight, and oddly enough the Drunken Mechanic and the Finnish Frankenstein became the voices of reason in trying to get the bloke to shape up. Eventually, he was enough to even run them off.

Word was he later made his way to a brave new world…wonder how he’d like it if aome of us Barged in on his place with this kind of f%cked up attitude.

Rumor also is that he got a brave new ass kicking a few weeks before for similar actions.

And I thought his problem was with all us Yanks and us just not understanding the British sense of humor.


DA BEACH


Did just get back from another nice holiday in Sihanoukville. As I have said, things are a changing down there.

Construction is going on at the burned down market and most vendors appear to have moved to the newer market behind there.

The guy next to me on the beach claimed to have had his camera stolen on Sunday so nice to know that the jows are still hard at work there.

Snake Pit had one hot dancer and several could-not-be-bothered-to-do-anthing-other-than-get-you-your-drink girls hanging out. The beer bar complex sure looks nice but not too much going on there. Pacino’s, back in the back does have 6 or 7 chickies in there, and even a couple that the Khmerican would not have minded having a little roll with, if it weren’t for the V-girl by my side and the $10 bar fine.

Freedom still has it’s assortment of girls, some looking rather haggard, but again, a couple that this boy wouldn’t have kicked out too quickly.

Reports are of not much quality at Outback, but steady and reliable service up on the mountain.

A ride by the Frog bars on the Hill seemed a bit busy, but I have never cared much for the scene there.

Finally, biggest disappointment of the trip was the much-anticipated, always-loved, Corner Bar pizza. Price was up a bit – no problem as it’s always been a bargain – but the quality of the one pizza that I had had gone way down. I used to love the pizza for the loads of cheese that was on it, but this time it was no different from any unhappy pizza from any of the happy pizza – short on the cheese and a thin and crisp crust. Bad enough that I did not return for another go, as I usually do, so maybe it was a one-off.

But I DID have a delicious Pizza Company pizza last night. I know, I know…but I did not order it. V-girl wanted it and I made her do the calling. But damn it was good!

ONE OF THE BEST

You've seen them. The f*cked up instructions on various items written by Asians that just don't make any sense.

We'll, I think that I have found my favorite. I was sitting down enjoying my dinner the other day when I happened to take notice of a hot water heater that we have had for about a year.

Not sure why it didn't catch my eye before, but it does at just about every meal now.

Have a better one?

Not Really Worth The Wait

KRUSTY THE CLOWN

Know him? Well, the Khmer version seems to be an organization, not a person.

What’s up with The Pizza Company???

The last several times that I have ordered from them, I have been informed that the Pan crust is not available – only the Crisp crust. OK on occasion, but part of the reason that I have considered this the best pizza in Cambodia is the crust.

A couple of weeks ago, the whole crust crap came to a head. My menu shows two types of crusts – Pan and Crisp. So when I placed the order for my pizza and the monkey asks what type of crust would like, I am excited! They must have Pan crust! I then tell him Pan crust and he tells me, “Sorry sir, Pan crust finished".

I want to get a bit of pleasure out of this whole thing and I ask him what kind of crust I can have. “Crisp crust OK Sir?” I ask him what my options are and he does not understand. I tell him that if there is no Pan crust then I can only have Crisp crust. “Sorry sir, no have Pan crust,” and it all begins over again (guess he wanted to have some fun as well).

Finally I tell him that I’ll take the Crisp crust. Long pause and, “Sorry sir, no have Crisp crust.” WTF??? So I ask him if what I am hearing is that I can order a pizza as long as I do not want the crust. No answer – he does not understand. I try to tell him that since they have no Pan crust and no Crisp crust, I can only have pizza without crust. He then starts the whole thing over again explaining to me that they no have Pan or Crisp crust.

Stop it already!!!!

I will NEVER order pizza from The Pizza Company again! Only Pizza World and Chez Dim - if you have not already, give them a shot.

On the subject of great pizzas, I certainly hope that nothing changes if and when CornerBar Mark unloads the Corner Bar and his pies. Always makes that ride down that much better knowing that you'll be treated to one of those delights.

IT'S ALL ABOUT MAKING FRIENDS

If you’re a nappy-headed, pony-tailed, dick-smokin, wirey Brit with something up your ass, don’t start bitchin to the Khmerican and PNik (also a Brit) at the BigM about your American boss, who happens to be a friend of the two, then insist that PNik is Broken Dave (the only similarity there is that they are both rather vertically challenged), then wander off to YourLien where PNik is enjoying the rest of the evening with SAndy and DonBong, and start spouting off about what shite Yanks are and just as much so, the Brits that hang with them, because you’re gonna get your ass kicked…BY THE BRIT…TWICE!!!

You twat!

All that’s left for us to do is relay your remarks to your always-too-happy-to-kick-some-ass, oversized boss and you’ll be out of a job and the rest of your hair and teeth.

HOLIDAY REVISITED

(Twenty-five official holidays this year in Cambodia, so those of you that get paid for them - enjoy!)

Yeah, we're long beyond them but some kudos need to go out.

Anyway, Fat Boy and Taco were quite busy. Thanksgiving dinner, Christmas boat cruise dinner, and Christmas eve dinner. Just how many Turkeys this country handle?

Well, an excellent job done each time and an extra credit goes to Taco for ensuring that the boys working at CA2 didn’t miss out.

The Christmas boat cruise was a great time – thank you Adam and other sponsors – with several revelers not ready to get off of the boat after a 5+ hour tour. Usually 3 hours is more than enough. Khmerican rarely partakes of the herb, but he chose to this time. He knew it had done its job when he was looking at the local families fishing from their boats/huts on the river and thought that really is the way that life was supposed to be lived – maybe that’s the real reason that he is in Cambodia. Of course, a clearer(or not) mind prevailed the next day and I am still in the relative luxury of my secure flat.

Speaking of the fishing boats, I must say that I am quite disappointed in the arm of the KCKid as I believe that my Grandmother, who died at the age of 94 more than 7 years ago, has a better arm than he does. You really should be ashamed of yourself!

Not to say that big man AAAC’s arm was any better. For that big of a boy, I certainly hope he makes up for it elsewhere!

Still on the holidays, I did make it down to the coast for the new year. As usual, was not ready to return to PP, but just had to. It was a blast and makes me wonder why I ever bothered with Bokor when that was going off.

An absolute barrage of fireworks on Ocheteul from at least 9:30 on.

And speaking again of the beach, is it just horny old me or are the girls at the beach looking better? Upon first visit in 2000, EVERY chickie wore full gear into the water – jeans, shirt, iron-clad bra, etc. Now, there’s so many more shorts cruising around, not to mention the bathing suits.

Having a bite before heading back to PP, Khmerican was drooling over all of the little brown-eyed girls wandering around in their sexy attire. No mistaking the place for the Big P across the border, but I like the way things are going.

And Rosie is back after an almost fatal accident last year. She's no longer on the hill but is now in the Christmas Bungalows just down from Golden Lions circle towards the Golden Sands Hotel, I believe it is called.

If you haven't been there before, you'll get great portions of tasty food for a very nice price. And if you've got a V in tow with you, even better as she'll fix up some nice Viet food for her.

Welcome back Rosie!

Last thing about the holidays - Khmerican was thinking that he was a bit lucky this year as V-girl did not return to the Delta for Tet. Lucky because it saved him some money. But then again, it's usually the one time a year that the Khmerican can enjoy some freedom. So how lucky was I. What would you be willing to pay for a week of F-R-E-E-D-O-M???

unLUCKY

About a week ago I rolled by Lucky Market on Sihanouk to pay a special visit to the little Blue Spot. When I came down, the place was relatively empty (it WAS 7:30 a.m.) so I decided that now was a good time to sign up for the unLucky Membership Reward card. You see, although I despise these things, the little Viet that lives with me keeps telling me about all of the great things that we are missing out on. Spend $20 and you get something like a $2 voucher for Lucky Burger – wooh-hoo!

So I go to the counter and announce that I would like to sign up for a card.

“You have receipt, sir?”

“No, no have receipt.”

“Oooo, I’m sorry sir.”

“Do I need receipt?”

“Yes sir. I’m sorry sir.”

“But I just want to sign up for a card…fill out application.”

“Oooo, sorry sir. You need receipt”

“So there’s no way for me to sign up for a card without a receipt?”

Pause…"Sorry sir. Cannot.”

The Viet wants the card, she can go get it herself.

Happy &@#$&% Holidays!

SKINT
It’s what you become when you have a girlfriend in Cambodia. So learn from my experience and just DON’T DO IT!!!

Where the hell were we?

Karma
Do you believe in it? I usually do, but with the way things are going for me lately (I THINK I’m a good guy), where is my good karma???

When I last wrote, I told you about the girl getting hit by little-big-man. Well, who knows what has become of him, and who really cares?

But the girlie that he hit has had a bit of luck since then. That whole ordeal happened on a Sunday night. The following Tuesday, she won the grand prize at the WA pool tournament – a nice little $25 bar tab.

Things didn’t end there. Three nights later, she makes her weekly pilgrimage to the WA Joker Draw. You guessed it, her number is drawn and bang…she turns the Joker! $1,500+ in cold hard cash (well, US Dollars, but they are still worth something in this country). She is kind enough to throw an after party party – after the WA “$500” party – and buys a bottle of Vodka, Whiskey, OJ, several cans of Red Bull, a few beers, and several plates of food. All in, a pay back to those that stuck around of $130. Nice gesture (are you reading this you Welsh prick that won $8,000+ and shouted not one frickin thing?!?!).

Not finished yet, after trying to decide what to do with such a windfall (buys jewelry, buys gold, sells gold..), she decides to buy a moto for $950. Moto is already registered and has plates so she plays the plate number on the lottery and wins another $70!

Finally, next Tuesday she’s the winner of the losers at WA and gets another $15 bar tab.

Cute side on this, boyfriend (on the advice of DQDTJ) tells her that his mother’s buffalo died and could she buy her a new one. Without much hesitation, girl asks, “How much is buffalo is USA?”

Only real loser here is the boyfriend, who is wondering why all he got out of the deal was a measly few beers, and within 2 weeks, she had her hand out again for what-ever-the-fuck her relatives (or local boyfriend) “needed” it for! I told you, DON’T DO IT!

Bon Om Tuk
I believe a good time was had by all – well, with the exception of the 5 water-logged Singaporeans. Just how do supposedly skilled rowers drown in a river like the Tonle Sap? Not like it is a raging river. And over 24 hours later, the bodies hadn’t even been dragged as far as the Mekong – they were still in the Tonle Sap near the FCC and the Cambodiana.

Worse yet was the Khmer that apparently drowned. Only know of this from the one-small-paragraph mention in the Daily that said that they pulled him out near the Cambodiana with a couple of Singaporeans. Guess locals really don’t matter

And is it my imagination of are the province girls HOT these days?!?!?! Note to self, get the hell out of PP a bit more!

Lockdown!

Heee’s Baaack!

Time to lockdown your young (but of-age) chickies, as the Mighty PG Power Ranger has returned from his visit to the ‘rents in Blandcaster. No little hottie is safe, so keep your eye (and hands) on your favorite(s), or he’ll be sure to snatch them from you!

By the way, his first night back in town was spent defacing PG coverboys and then promptly passing out on his bed, doors (and drawers?) wide open! Obviously does not take much to out-do Blandcaster.

Welcome back Power Ranger.

Job wanted

Want a (new) job, better paying work, or an even-more successful business? Apparently all you have to do is contribute to this blog. Several contributors have had just that happen, and we can only assume that’s why they never fucking post anymore

Holiday season is here and everyone’s got their shit going on. 12 Beers of Christmas is right around the corner…or is it? And are they going across the river or aren’t they. Changes daily so keep your ears open!

Sharky birthday dinner on the 21st. Still hoping there’ll be a repeat of the party like the one 2 year’s ago, but chances seem slim. Who in attendance has stopped talking about that one?

Rumor of a boat cruise this weekend, but I guess that I am out of the loop, so tell me all about it.

And it looks like the annual pilgrimage out of town for a new years celebration is on hold for the Khmerican this year. That in addition to the rest of these functions. “What’s up with that” you ask. Because I am SKINT!!! My money flows down the river towards Vietnam faster than any Southeast Asian does!

DON’T DO IT!!!

Merry Fucking Christmas...go ahead and celebrate...it’s not just about JC anymore!!!

Another Weekend in PP

“Just say…”
Friday night saw Khmerican enjoying post-Joker beers at WA. Once fully juiced for the trip, he decides it is time to depart for M. V-bunny decides she’s had enough and asks Khmerican to drop her off at the pad on the way to M (Khmerican is always happy to oblige the request of allowing him to go to M unencumbered!).

Later in the night, upon exiting the dance floor at M, Khmerican gets a phone call from V-Bunny asking if he had lost his driver’s license. K checks the front shirt pocket and sure enough, it’s gone missing. Seems that upon pulling out his stylish eyewear in front of WA, his DL fell out as well. Motodop calls V-bunny and says that it was found (K suspects security guard) and finder will return it for $10. Message relayed to K. “Tell him to ‘F-off!’”, was his response. V-bunny is astonished by this response and asks K to repeat it. “You heard me…F-off!”

You see, Khmerican hates to be extorted for money, especially by a Khmer, and he’d rather endure the cost of $30 to replace it.

Next day, K has forgotten all about (see "upside down" later in this post) it when V-bunny calls him to inform him that Dop has returned the license to her and she donated $2 to him. Dumbass – if he would have simply told me that he had found it, I would have given him $5 to $10. His loss for being a dickhead.

DO NOT SUPPORT DOP’S TYPE OF BEHAVIOR!


M&M Redux
Saturday night saw the annual thanks-for-putting-up-with-my-ramblings-you-upside-down-drinking-mo-fo’s/top-shelf-wine-blowout/oh-yeah-and-it-also-happens-to-be-my-birthday party for MM of M&M at CA2, catered by Big Al as only he can do.

All seemed to have a good time but MM should be careful when joking about his age, as his dear Srey M (who looked exquisite that evening) bought double nickel candles for the cake. Fortunately, Khmerican discovered this before presentation and Srey M was able to change out one of the 5s with a 4.

King Fisher was last seen clutching tightly to a bottle(s), a sight not seen since he had his claws dug into a Tequila bottle at the original M closing party. Certainly hope he fared better on this night.

Happy Birthday and a big thanks from all of us MM!!! Many, many more!


Pick on Someone your own gender
Sunday was thought to be uneventful until Khmerican showed up and WA and heard of Napoleon exhibiting his fighting prowess. Trouble is, he chose a woman as his victim. Seems that the little-man complex was brought about when Napoleon had lost a game of pool and wanted to play again. Girl tells him “no”, a girl plays first then he can. He protests a bit and when the girl wins, he comes back to play the next game, tells girl something like, “Don’t f*cking talk to me like that,” closes his fist, and next thing she knows, she's eating a knuckle sandwich.

When male WA guests jump to her defense, and she scratches his face and threatens that if he show his face again his days of this life are through, sissy boy retreats to the safety of his own room, never to be seen again that night.

Initial report from Security at WA on Monday was that he checked out early Monday and has not been seen since. Later reports were that he had been evicted.

But he is said that have been looking for a teaching job here, so if any of you educators of the leaders of tomorrow see a late-40’s/early 50’s, short, bald/balding guy, with a problematic half/closed eye and scratches on his face, do not reward this behavior. Scum like this need to be out of Cambodia, and off of this planet.

BTW, apparently Little Man had an episode with the WA Night Manager 1 or 2 nights prior, where all sorts of expletives were streaming from his mouth. Why was this guy still staying at WA? Are there no balls there other than the shriveled peanuts of this guy? We sure do miss you there Bill!


This & That
R-Cat reporting regular losses. Not the SuperLotto variety, but more of the “how could I possibly have spent that much money?” type. Well, R-Cat, if you don’t remember conversing with me the night before, there’s a good chance that you don’t remember all of the R-Pussies scratching at you or with their paws in your pocket. Could also have something to do with that little V that you keep taking home. You know…the one that you keep telling me that you’re not going to take any longer. Could it be that one of the R-Pussies has finally figured out that if she takes a little at a time, she’ll continue to get invited back to the den?

The Canadian Courier is back in town. After a brief resurfacing, the Canadian Couriee/Weasel has once again disappeared, for fear of his physical condition (which is far from a pretty sight). Always a good thing, as others will actually get a chance to get something to eat at the Thanksgiving Day Feast put on by Big Al (with the help of Waco) at Sharkey’s. Welcome back.

And a big shout to KYGreg. After his recent trip to the PI, we found out that there is more than one meaning for the KY in his name. Nothing physical folks, but the AC crew did bend him over and give him a painful one. Hope that you're recovering well and getting a little sympathy from the Thai lasses up in U.T. Hope to see you soon.

Bon OM Tuk this weekend.
Any of you that have not made the wise decision to get out of town for the Water Festival should head on down to CA2 for the fun. There’ll certainly be an assortment of characters there (as there always is) and it’s great fun to watch the province chickies go by...yeah, and the boats too. Watch your bags, pockets, and sanity should you venture down to the riverfront.

Pontoon should be a good location for this as well, but personally, me thinks not my crowd. Good luck to The Connoisseur.

Countess Chocula

We met at My Lien and then shot off to Sharky Bar. Be warned, the motodops near My Lien and Tom's Irish Bar are bunch of douche bags. I spit on them 10,000 times. (!!) Of course, this is NGO-land. They are used to dealing with spineless morons. My humble advice: Set the price before you go, and don't be afraid to tell them to fuck-off.

We made it to Sharky and started to mingle. Everyone seemed to be out last night. It was an atmosphere fueled by liquor, marching powder, and the wonderful promise of dirty sex. They all make this place special.

Most of what was said was hearsay, gibberish, and nonsense. Some of it I remember:

• The California 2 is about ready to re-open. He had a small pre-opening party and by all accounts, the place looks really good. Congrats.
• There are unconfirmed reports that a Nigerian scamster accidentally fell off the balcony the other night. If it's true, I'd like to congratulate the balcony. (Damn fine work!)
  
• The price of vodka has risen. Stoly used to be $3.70/bttle. Now it's up to $5 or $6.
• If there are no red rings around the base, it isn't a wart.

I even bought "fecalpheliac" girl a drink. Some drunk dude kicked her out of his hotel room once without paying, and she was just drunk enough to shit into her hands and smear it all over his door. (Steaming anger?) May she be reborn as a chambermaid. (Or maybe a Japanese porno star.)

Hemmingway had Paris in the '20s. This is better.

2am was approaching. I bopped around from Martini, (killer chick-guy ratio, African had a drunk Asian tourist interested in an exciting business venture), to Howies,(where French people demanded our weed), and finally, Walkabout, where I hooked up with Countess Chocula because she know how to work mr. jimmy. Mr. Jimmy got worked.

And that was it. The usual Friday night/Sat morning shenanigans. I didn't find a cure for cancer, create the perfect shoe bomb, or try and change the world in any way. I found a Chocolate Countess who knows how to work the jimmy. Is that so wrong?

Monday Night Travels

9 pm: We decided to talk business - sober this time. Plans were made. Ideas kicked around. Prices quoted. Good meeting. Then we noticed the White chick across the street undressing in front of a window. Nice ass. A good omen.

10:45 pm: We decided to celebrate with a quick one in the neighborhood. One drink and home to dinner and a good book....or maybe internet porn. We decided on My Lien on Street 278. This is NGO Land, so the bar has a steady stream of aid agency people (the kind with money), contractors, and embassy staffers. A good place for a quiet drink and flirtatious conversation before they go home to the wife and kids.

The girls fit the standard My Lien profile: young, cute, savvy, and unbeatable at Connect 4. They quickly pegged me as the type of guy who would never buy them a new Honda CRV, so I was able to skip the agonizing bar hostess interrogation:

"Hello... What's your name? Where you from? You come holiday? You have my wife...?"

I'm rambling. Let me sum it up. I FUCKING HATE hostess bars but My Lien is all right. The mama-san is cool, and if she knows you, she'll run a tab. They have a dart board and vodkas are only $1. Kicks ass.

12:30am: Our "quick drink" turned to 3 quick drinks. Mama-san was ready to close, so we headed down 278 to Equinox, a French-owned place next to the Golden Gate. I knew 2 things about this place - it's French (read: expensive and dull) and it's "gay-friendly" (in PNH, this usually means: Fuckin' Queer) But Davis said it was cool...

It is cool. Nice layout. Great music (funk, soul, jazz-fusion...) and free internet. They incorporated the bar into a 2nd floor balcony and worked in an art gallery and clothing shop in the back. It's also smoke friendly and for that it gets 2 BIG thumbs-up. Drinks seemed to be in the $2-$3.50 range.

1:50am: We shot the shit for a while, rapped with a French dude who owns the Thai restaurant next door, and decided it was time to get laid. The Walkabout was hopping. By now I was too drunk to fuck. Unfortunately, that usually doesn't stop me from trying, but I opted for the $1 crotch massage while you drink option and settled in. The gang assembled and we got to catching up. What's the word?

• A guesthouse owner and a bar manager continue to feud. Their last blow-out involved a kitchen knife and a crowd of nervous bar patrons. No blood was spilled.
• A resident tweeker blew $700 in 3 days and came by a friend's pad at 8am demanding his stolen rice be returned. A 15 minute search of the kitchen failed to turn up any rice and the tweeker stalked off. Hasn't been seen since.
• Another German fired from an ESL job. Not pedophilia this time - just that he was coming into work stumbling drunk. Can't blame the school. It wasn't that easy to understand him when he was sober.
  

3:20 am: Time to go. There was time when only a raging idiot would be walking the streets at 3am, and I suppose it's still not all that safe. But Cambodia has come a long way, towards stability(knock on wood), and a brisk 15 minute walk is usually enough to burn off bedspins. I made it home in one piece. Another one in the books.

Mondays aren't so bad.

Village idiot rides again

A quiet Saturday night....was what I had planned. I went out anyway. First stop was Sharky to meet up with some friends. Got there and one had already almost singlehandedly downed a bottle of vodka. We finished the last of the booze and started talking business. He liked my ideas - had some of his own. Intelligent discourse followed....for about 2 minutes. Then the show started.

Entertainment provided by, "The Village Idiot." Yes, the Pride of the Canadian Maritimes is back at it. Tonight it was a tantrum at the pool table over some minor point of play. It began when he grabbed the cue ball and refused to hand it over. It ended when his head was slammed against the pool table by a large, fed-up bar manager. Said bar manager then marched village idiot off - arm twisted behind his back - and demanded he pay and leave. And so the village idiot was led out of yet another bar by yet another set of security guards.

An embarrassment to White men everywhere.

Unfortunately, a group of Khmer visitors, who had been having a great time, were disturbed by the scene and left. What can I say that hasn't already been said? He knows better.

If there is one bright spot, it's this: Bad examples like him are worth more than a thousand good ones. So members of the community: Check yourself.

Saturday Night's all right for.......

Dear loyal readers (AKA: my imaginary friends):

It's Saturday night and in light of my current financial situation and the hole that black coffee and vodka have burned in my stomach - I think I'll stay in. Had a good one last night. Hit Sharky Bar around 11 to see who was out. Tranquilizers and booze make the women look good. Actually, the women always look good. The tranquilizers and booze help me believe that I look good.

I was already a little numb when I hit the bar. Unhappily, I found myself next to a short, fat, unwashed 40-something Canadian with a matted beard and coke-bottle lenses; he had a litany of complaints about Cambodia. He just had to let the waitress know about them. I could see the murder fantasies being played out in her mind.

He kept looking at me for moral support. I refused to make eye-contact with him. It's important to avoid people like this. They should be in Pattaya getting ripped off by ladyboys - the ladyboys they claim they didn't know were ladyboys until after they had finished a 20 min 69 session, busted their nut, and exchanged cell phone numbers.

Anyway, the night went well. Good energy in the bar, good chick-to-dick ratio and good (heavy metal) music on the sound system. Conversation went from movies to porn stars to Cambodian politics to dirt bikes to VD to the (US) trade deficit to the best viagra clones. (PS: Don't count on the liquid stuff to act as a breath freshener.)