Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Jump n on the op

Fuckn a, first post of the new year. What are we at? like the 15th or something? M still good, but still thins out early. Talent around town not like past years at this time. I guess killing time under the house in the province on a bamboo platform beats doing tourist trash. Missing the hunt lately as I have acquired more numbers than days of the week, and it has been easier just to make that bootie call between venues. Phone ringging now, gotta go.


Blue in The Penh said...

Just what IS your secret to getting laid in Phnom Penh??? You must be one HOT Mutha!!! Can I borrow a phone number or two? My boys are about to EXPLODE!!!

Dredge said...

I got a c note with an elastic band attached. they grab and go thinking i am some visiting 2 week millionaire and the bill sticks to me. I think the repeats are attempts to get the bill back.

Bad Bob said...

Dredge.... you got that right. What's not to love about Denny's? Thats the thing I miss the most about the good US OF A when I go to Cambo. But like they say, "if it was easy your grandmother could do it". No Srey Lake Mui at Denny's.
Me and Leon got our favorite Denny's waitress though, Elois. E and Lois from Ladora Heights, The black Beverly Hills. Anyway, this chick, Elois, is a man-eater. I bet every guy who's ever met her has jacked off to her at least once. You know who she looked like? Christie Love. 'Member that TV show "Get Christie Love"? She was a black female cop. She always used to say "You're under arrest, sugar".Well apparently Lady E was married to this real piece of dog shit. I mean a real animal. And apparently he would so things to her. Nobody knows for sure what he did. We just know he did something.
Anyway, Elois plays it real cool. And waits for the next time this bag of shit gets drunk. So one night the guy gets drunk and passes out on the couch. So while the guy's inebriated, she strips him naked. Then she takes some crazy glue and glues his dick to his belly I'm dead fuckin serious. She put some on his dick and some on his belly, then stuck 'em together. The paramedics had to come and cut it loose I don't know what he did to her, but she got even. How would you feel if you had to do a handstand every time you took a piss? And then there's my regular Lashondra.... man o man... talk about JUNK IN THE TRUNK!!! But me and Leon'll save that story for when we see you soon enough.... we're staying at Newport Stud's crib so we'll sure enough have plenty of time to fill ya in on that one. Only 8 more sleeps until we get on the big bird to Srey Lake Mui and a 4 way with Newport Stud. Hey, Dredge don't want to you to feel jilted so ol'Leon says, "Hell may as well make it a 5-way"

Newport Stud said...

Sorry about the bad news BB...I hear that Leon's got a new gig and won't be able to make it -

I "really" hope that you'll still be cuming. No really...I mean it. But no, you can't stay at my place. Man, all of my thoroughfares are EXIT ONLY! But maybe you can hook up Blue...sounds like he'd be right up your alley...if you know what I mean. Unless he was able to steal some of Dredge's mojo.

If you can't make it - and I really do think that you should wait until Markus...err Leon...can accompany you - don't forget to hook up didn't give her shit for Xmas or the new year. And the Viet new year is fast approaching...step up to the plate pal. Her brother - who lives with her while you are gone, you know, just to make sure she is safe - is really in dire need of some dough. He's really been taking good care of her and I think he really deserves your help. Maybe he'd even be willing to join in with you and Leon (and maybe even Blue) when you finally do make it over.

Bad Bob (boner included) said...

Leon agrees with ya and sez hiring a truck to pick him up at the airport is good by him. Even if we could fit him in a taxi seat it could get a mite stifling. The driver can back up to the entrance of the WA, drop the tail gate, and Leon can waddle right on in. Newport Stud, do you believe in Karma? Now that he's got him that Singha Beer tank top I think Leon's gonna fit in at the WA just like the WARTS ON A CORNUCOPIA GOURD!
Which brings up the next point. Where is Leon gonna sleep and do his business? It's gonna have to be on the ground floor. It's a good thing you aren't on a second story or something crazy like that. Hell, if it weren't for the ramp welfare paid for, he wouldn't be able to shuffle in his trailer. Ol' Leon's whatcha call semi-disabled by his love of all things Denny's.
I got me a good feeling about this. Today at Walmart we ran into a Samoan guy we knew from Cell Block C. He told Leon he'd be more'n happy to lend him his Hawaiin shirt in case we can figure out a way to get him up the stairs at Sharky's. He don't believe me but I told him those boys hanging around out front will do anything for a dollar... figure since you're paying for the truck rental you won't mind paying those guys to push Leon up the stairs....
Well I gotta finish packing see you at the airport in two short days. Again, Bro thanks for you being so hospitable and all. We are gonna have us some good times!
PS. Don't you worry none. We got plenty of Christmas presents for SLM... one that's rock hard and goes wrrrrrrrrrrrrr, another thats like jello and goes whumpa whumpa and kinda twirls and one more, well hell, to honest with ya between that stack of Jugs and Black Beauties life's taken a bit of a turn and I ain't had a chance to see what the hell it does, but I know it's somethin' good. Lashondra picked it out herself.

Newport Stud said...

Not sure what happened to Leon's link, but here's another. Wonder who he nicked the photo from -

Bad Bob, maybe there's a spot for you as well -

Bad Bob said...

By God if he ain't the spittin' image of my old celly Raycarl's monogoloid half brother DeWayne, in his younger days that is. Folks say he was a byproduct of Raycarl's daddy gettin' tanked up on budget bourbon, skulking down the hall and having it off with Raycarl's little sister Charlene.... the walls in the trailer don't afford much in the way of sound proofin' so Raycarl, he say's he heard his daddy grunting like an old boar, a god awful howl proceeded by him snoring like a freight train. Then little Charlene she started screaming at the top a her little lungs.... "Jesus H Christ Daddy, roll over you're a fuckin' crushin' my Lucky Strikes!!!"

Bad Bob (boner included) said...

Glad to hear Srey Lake Mui got the USD and her and her brother are all squared away.
Leon workin' as a gigolo at a brothel for the ladies? Newport Stud you are the funniest fella I've come across in a good long while! You remind me of my old celly Raycarl. Even though you and me are great pals, had me a momentary violent urge on account of almost choking on a Church's chicken wing when I read that. My regular Lashondra, she won't even put up with Leon's stink enough to give him a tug for a fitty... and Lashondra, well, she ain't exactly the pick of the litter herself.
Thanks for the photo you sent of Srey Lake Mui even if it was mostly the back of her head the other bits were enough to get Leon all hot 'n bothered. I'll tell you what! Ol' Johnny Wad himself ain't got nothin' on you.
Raycarl and me went to Pattaya last year for the first time and he brought back a size 8X Singha Beer tank top... story goes it was a special order for a German who musta been a few schnitzels over the limit himself, but before it changed hands Fritz did a nose dive off the top floor of a high rise hotel. Musta' been a huge SPLAT!!! Heard 2 stories... first, the love of his life found a better offer, even though he'd sent her massive Deutsche Marks and the poor guy couldn't face life back in sauerkraut land without his heart throb... the other story involved a nasty dispute over the cost of the special order. Either way, there it was, hung up on the shop wall for display and novelty purposes only. Not to Raycarl though, he figured it would class up his trailer hung next to the rebel flag. Plus, what's a holiday without some kind of heist? He's a quick,wiry guy and handy with his fists. So he just tore it off the wall threw a couple or three punches, a few kicks and hightailed it for the airport. Happened so fast those monkeys didn't know what hit'em!
It looked good too, up there on the wall with the flag. A real conversation piece! He bagged more'n a few gals who'd wanted to see it. And he didn't pay for all of 'em either!
So Pattaya or Thailand are no more for me. But as lady luck would have it, while the cops, lights a' flashing, were chasing and wrestling Raycarl, (over a weapons charge and subsequent parole violation) struggling to get him in the back of the squad car. I snuck over and nabbed the rebel flag and grabbed the Singha beach blanket/ tank top. The landlord who'd put back a gallon of Thrifty bourbon, was passed out next door, oblivious, but I knew he'd be on Raycarl's shit like a fly, soon as he slept it off. Sure enough the next afternoon there was a yard sale to try and recoup some of the back rent. And everyone knew this beef being Raycarl's third, he ain't gonna be in the market for a trailer rental any time soon. Got a good deal on his collection of Jugs and Black Beauties too... but that no good lying sumbitch, if I knew he had that kind of porn stash and where he had 'em I could've bundled 'em off the night before

Newport Stud said...

Hey, Bad Bob. Really glad to hear that we're on the same page on this one! Can't wait to hook up with you and Peon.

I will be a bit busy and might be running a few minutes late, but whatever you do, wait for me at the airport! Don't listen to those taxi/tuk tuk/moto mafia pigs there - they will lead you astray. Wait for me and I'll be there. But whatever you do, DO NOT LEAVE THE AIRPORT WITHOUT ME!

Can't wait to get down with you Singha singlet-wearin, Denny's-munchin, two-bit-ho-baggin, snaggle-toothed, trailer/Pattaya trash MoFos! So don't leave the airport until I get there.