Lazers, Lights, Morons

Apology: Ubercon's last post about an idiot crashing his Toyota near 51 and 172 was tragically deleted. Thanks to those of you who sent comments.

I just read a short (good-natured) desciption of this blog as being a Chronicle of Louche Expat Life in PNH. After looking up louche, I decided perhaps they were right. Maybe I should serve the public. Provide indepth reports on poverty alleviation, health care, multiculturalism, and empowerment. Then I thought - I do. Anyway, it got me thinking about International Women's Day - which coincided with $1 spirits night at Sharky Bar.

Sharky Bar:
CoolCatCurtis was celebrating his birthday and pondering the implications of Women's Day. I was too. A favorite topless dancer back in town. Says she got married. Note: Angry Western men are not the only ones who lament the decision to marry. Sexy VN exhibitionists do also. But before I could console, she was off grabbing tourist crotch and quoting (very) out-of-town prices. Empowerment. Go girl. Hey,

Teach her to fish and she'll eat forever.
Teach her what a dumbass tourist looks like, and she'll... buy a house, a moto, 10 hectares, and a bitchin' cell phone with hi-res video.....

Also recalled:

• CoolCat's immediate, instinctive response to someone (playfully) touching his gold bracelet. Like lightening. Happy B-day man
• Diharreah is good for high cholesterol.
• Favorite KKrom back in town after, "...one week in Kampuchea Krom. Now come back to Phnom Penh..." Cool. They usually say they went to Vietnam. This one knows where she's from. WORD.
• Harvest in. Kicking my ass.
• Duelling bodyguards, drunk scooter douches, and twisted metal on Ponchentong Rd. Another weekday afternoon in the Capital. Stay tuned for more on that one...
• Local universities vetting their PhDs? Not so says one . So hey, need a change? Hit a doc shop, pick your doctorate and score yourself a $20+/hr gig at a university near you.
  

Martini Bar and Disco:
Lasers at the M. Lasers, lights, and (maybe) an upgrade on the sound system. It is a sight. Like being caught in an Ewok ambush with light sabers and laser beams flying left and right...However, drunk and mellow - it was too much for me. I had to sit down. I like it dark in the disco - We all look better in the dark - but hey, it looks good. Hopefully they'll limit the light shows to 10 mins here and there. Besides, if they get too hip with all that flash, we may get more like:

The Nasty Bear:
Drunk, annoying, and built like a T-72. Russian hits dance floor and does her cross-floor stomp accompanied by a gaggle of Khmers. Seemed friendly - hugging, grabbing at the girls.... 30 minutes and the Bear wants to sit down. Khmer girls start asking her for a $ - for the dancing, etc....Bear goes ballistic. Starts throwing kicks and punches in every direction - and with intent. Security steps in. Major struggle. They get her dumb ass back in a seat. Show wasn't over - 2 Australian dickheads she came with decide they need to begin their campaigns for:

The Dumbest White Man of the Year Award:
It's a crowded field but they made a statement. Hit the floor doing the dumb-ass strut up and down, left and right - essentially keeping the Khmers off the dance floor since they'd get run over if they stepped in. Security wanted a major piece of them but since they weren't doing anything wrong (technically) and it was 2:30am anyway,...they stood and stewed, and took notes. May they all get what's coming to them.