California 2 Guesthouse:
It couldn't last forever. It didn't. 75 cent beers have risen to a cool DOLLAR . Vodkas to $1.25 and (most) mixed drinks to $1.75. Menu prices inched up as well although...it's still a deal. Beer prices rose November 1st. To ease the transition, beers were .50 all day on Halloween (October 31st.) Some questioned the business acumen of halving beer prices for the day, but magnanimous gestures = good karma. Sales on everything else rose. Day ended deep in the black - and much good will was spread. Look for more not-really-advertised specials.
- DrunkenMechanic, CrouchingYoga: PNH's latest street scene, a hairy (and kindda ...filthy) homeless dude known for lounging along the riverside like a reclining Buddha-statue and doing yoga in the alley behind CA2 made a mistake. Asked a tanked-up wrench-head for...a dollar. Mechanic responds with angry insults. YogaMan answers back - with a flying chair. Suddenly drunk mechanic is cowering under a wicker chair and AuzDon is out of his seat trading blows with hairy YogaMan. Who's to blame? YogaMan a peaceful dude - not known for this behavior. Mechanic is. Witnesses: Mechanic's a good guy BUT he should have just said, "NO."
- Two 20-somethings out on the town. One pretty cool. The other - a flaming prick. Unbelievable - this dude. Guess which one went home with his teeth. Not sure what he did over at DV8 to get the Khmers worked up enough to beat the shit out of him - TWICE. But people who met him said it was inevitable. In a town full of bastard SOBs...he stood out from the crowd. His friend - shocked. Cambodia a nightmare. Wanted out of this evil place - next mini-bus to Khao San Road - where it's (apparently) safe to be a major-league fool. My heartfelt advice: Tell all your other asshole friends about what an evil place this is. Suggest they try...golfing in Scottsdale or something.
- Rooms are booked solid for Water Festival. Whatever - the balconies are only semi-private. So much for getting deep-throated while glazing out at the throngs of villagers who've flocked to the 3-day event...(Not that I've ever put much thought into that...)
- Good tidings to KYgregg. Enjoy the Philippines and get back soon.
- What caused BigESL to smack DrunkenMechanic in the head and pull him out of his chair?? Usually it's something the mechanic has done. This time, witnesses couldn't figure it out. Let's save the ugliness for times when it's appropriate. It's not like they are at a premium. (See below.)
Sharky Bar:
They raised the price of my booze!!! $2.25 for a vodka with ice??? Food prices went up, too. Because tourists have money? Fine. But - soon there'll be ferns and WiFi. A diaper-changing station in the bathroom. A no-smoking section and zany (family-appropriate) memorabilia on the walls....Maybe the wait-staff can wear stripped shirts with rainbow suspenders and sport wacky buttons that say things like: "Smile and the World Smiles with You!" or "I'd love to Take Your Order!", "Up with people!", and "If I don't Smile, You Get a Free Dessert!"
Thankfully, the place still attracts meltdowns like: The Swedish Toilet Hitler.
Womens bathroom a disaster zone. Don't know what they do in there but I've heard stories. A rancid bio-hazardous zone where even the cleaning staff fears to tread. Hawkeye's Auzzie mate needs a break. Takes one look at the women's room and asks if she can use the stall in the men's room. Common request. Not a problem. Manager watches the door just to make sure there's no problem (there never is) and all's well. Everyone is happy. Except:
Olaf "Champion of Propriety." Adjusts his glasses. Checks his hair. Straightens his pocket protector and Springs forth into action. Storms over to the scene of the crime. Angrily demands to know what a woman' doing in the men's facilities. (Pissing, you fool.) Manager - explains politely. Olaf not hearing it. Jumping up and down, ranting, screaming. Confronts the woman. Woman's mountain of a boyfriend tells him to get lost or lose his teeth. Doesn't register. Hawkeye shows amazing control. Olaf sprints back to the toilet - confronts manager - smacking his hand against the sign. Reads aloud, "MEN", MEN, NOT WOMEN!!! MEN!!! You READ??!! What does it SAY. It SAYS what??!!
Manager had enough. Rips sign off wall and throws it on the floor. Now it doesn't say anything! So fuck off!! Olaf retreats to a table near the A/C and glares for hours at the manager, his friends and everyone else. Olaf forgot his meds. Predictably, his kit-loy arrives and Olaf insists that he's not paying it. Security is called. WIandy tries to smooth things over. Everyone else wants Olaf drowned in a toilet - in the women's room....More glaring. Finally he leaves but the mood of the night was broken.
OLAF: Go back to Pattaya. Never leave. And by the way asshole - you owe everyone a Saturday night. (But hey, you gave me something to write about....)
More soon.
3 comments:
Thanks for the mention on the blog! So far things are good in the Philippines. Although there are more girls here than in PP, the percentage of attractive ones is far less. By the way it's just one "G" at the end.
KYGreg
Thanks for the info. Hard to believe there is a dearth of lookers. Let us all know what's happening in the land of "3-holes, $10." The good, the bad, and the ugly.
A post full of much physical violence. Maybe Da Bonger should be a bit more concerned with his UFC-watching habits rather than those of the lover-not-a-fighter CNBC watchers!
A few updates:
Crouching Yoga has not been seen using his well manicured sleeping quarters on the riverfront grass in quite some time. Is it possible that he has taken over Drunken Mechanics lair somewhere near Pochentang?
Tiny Swedish Meatballs (Olaf), upon his initial return from the toilet, and seeing Khmerican standing at “his” table, promptly nudged Khmerican in the ribs to remove him from “his” spot, rather than simply asking him to move. Khmerican, a fine specimen of a man, held back his anger and simply told Lingenberries that he did not own the bar, prior to unleashing a barrage of expletives at him. Coincidentally, telling Lingenberries that he did not own the bar was one of the things shooting from the mouth of Sharky Manager.
DVHater was recently seen throwing down daytime shots of Tequilla, the same technique that started his initial escapades. No word as to what became of him that night.
Khemerican would like to thank DVHater for the beers that he unknowingly bought for Khmerican on his fateful night. That night, DVHater commandeered the pool table from a couple of girls at Martini, against their will. They obliged and played DVHater and his partner, winners to receive free drinks from the losers. Naturally, DVHater lost. Girls went to order their drinks and DVHater insisted they get beers. Upon hearing the girls’ protests, DVHater says, “I buy, I choose,” and buys the girls 2 Angkor beers. Khmerican, being the afore-mentioned fine specimen of a man, and admirer of beautiful chickies, is donated the beers by the girls. Cheers DVHater, you got what was coming to you!
Post a Comment