Where Is There Life in Asia?

Or perhaps I should ask, "Where is Asia Life?"

Yes, Phnom Penh's slickest free mag managed to skip February all together. A slight on Black History Month? Conspiracists wonder...

But I'm thinking they just fucked up. While I'll manage a month without Asia Life Magaizine and still be happy, I can think of one group that won't. Advertisers. How many will be pulling their high-priced ads? We may have to wait 'til April or May to find out.

Along those lines:
Another contender enters the ring to take a piece of Phnom Penh's (apparently) hot English-language media market. Not sure what it'll be called, but expect a slickly printed guide to the Capital's beautiful people. Photos of the NGO/Embassy crowd playing croquet at Northridge, getting down at the Salt Lounge and Gasolina, and handing out oversized novelty checks to shoeless orphans. What would you pay for something like this?* Reportedly, $4 a copy.

Good luck.

Anise:
Walking down Street 278 on my way to....nowhere in particular when I heard the distinctive sound of acoustic guitar accompanied by an accordion. Suddenly, I had to piss. I walked in, hit the head, and settled at an outdoor table. Anise - tastefully decorated hotel/restaurant with an upscale tourist/NGO crowd. Alternative couples holding hands, anxious tourists clutching their hemp-fiber bags, tables of middle-aged travelers with plump wives downing bottles of wine, and the accordionist's bored-looking girlfriend. And me.

Smiling waiter asked what I wanted. Vodka-Tonic. (On the menu: $2.50) He came back 5 mins later with a menu and asked what kind of vodka. I pointed at the menu and said, "Whatever, man." He decided, "Smirnoff." Fine. Another 5 mins. He's got a can of tonic ($1.20) and a thimble of vodka ($2.50). Fuck Me.

And FUCK ANISE!!! $3.70 for a weak vodka-tonic.
DIRTY MUTHER- FUCKING BASTARDS!

Anyway, I hope the irony of a 200r tip wasn't lost on them. Fuckers..... But hey, shit like that happens, and I shouldn't complain since:

Mellow Kiwi ESL teacher taking the same walk down the street he'd taken hundreds of times. As usual the sidewalk's a parking lot and you need to do the Phnom Penh Cross & Weave: Around the SUV, onto the street, dodge the durian vendor, back onto the sidewalk, and THUD!! Nailed by a Camry going the wrong way down a one-way street.

The crowd made a getaway impossible, so Camry-punks loaded wounded Whitey into the backseat, shot over to a well-regarded clinic, dumped him at reception and GOT THE FUCK OUT OF THERE. The security professional at the gate never got the car's details, but it probably didn't have tags and besides he was busy with...this crazy zit that just wouldn't pop.....

Good thing the Kiwi had insurance. Long story short: Stay in Cambodia - the leg's coming off above the ankle. Get to Bangkok - hope the reconstruction goes well. Another reason to have travel insurance. He did, evac-ed to TH, and kept the leg.

Welcome to March.

(*To read -not burn.)